Now I know I have a good nine weeks of pregnancy ahead of me, but the birth of baby has been occupying my mind lately. My history in delivering babies is this: one unplanned C-section after 42 weeks of pregnancy and 12 hours of labor, and one very premature natural birth with epidural in the birth of our little angel at 23 weeks of pregnancy. Both deliveries were pretty hard.
In spite of my less-than-ideal history with delivering babies, though, I am rather looking forward to not scared of going through it all again. What has been keeping me busy is how this baby will be born. Will I need another C-section (I pray that I don't)? If it's a natural birth, do I do it the natural way or with epidural? Lately, I've been inclined to go with the epidural because I know from experience that once my body gets going with the contractions, I'll have a maximum of 20 to 30 seconds between them, which is pretty hard to endure for hours on end. I am not a 0-to-10cm-in-3-hours-kind-of-girl, unfortunately.
Like I said, I was leaning towards an epidural, until I read Jill Di Pietro's hypnobirthing story on Design Mom. What an amazing birth! This is how I imagined giving birth was when I was pregnant the first time and had taken birthing classes. I was going to deliver my baby at home in a birthing tub, with just my husband and a midwife there, and lots of candles and soft music in the background. I was in shock when it turned out to be just a big, bloody, painful mess and I became quite sceptical of people who claimed to have had beautiful deliveries. But then every now and then a story like Jill's comes along, and it gets me thinking. Maybe a birth like that is possible, maybe even for me? I can only imagine the sense of empowerment after pushing out your baby all by yourself, no help from pain medicine or anything. Now I know for sure I won't be delivering this baby at home, but the epidural I will give a second thought.